Real stories from single women who pursued IVF in Portugal. Their journeys, decisions, challenges, and advice for women considering solo motherhood.
Single by Choice: Real Stories from Solo Mothers Who Did IVF in Portugal
Behind every fertility journey is a unique story. These women chose solo motherhood and traveled to Portugal to make it happen. Their experiences offer insight, encouragement, and practical wisdom for anyone considering the same path.
Key Takeaways
- Active decision-making: Successful solo mothers took control rather than waiting passively
- Start early: All advise not waiting until you feel 100% ready—that day never comes
- Build support first: Strong networks are essential before baby arrives
- Portugal welcomes solo mothers: Clinics treat single women with respect and normalcy
- No regrets: Women consistently report satisfaction with their choice
Names changed for privacy. Stories shared with permission.
Sarah, 38, London — "I Stopped Waiting"
Background: Marketing director, single, always wanted children
The decision: "At 36, I realized I'd been waiting for the 'right relationship' that might never come. I could keep waiting, or I could take control. I chose to take control."
Why Portugal: "UK waiting lists were 18+ months for donor sperm. Portugal had no wait, cost less, and the clinic was incredibly welcoming to single women."
The journey: "I did two IUI cycles first—both unsuccessful. Then moved to IVF. The third time was the charm. My daughter is now 2."
Advice: "Don't wait until you feel 100% ready. That day never comes. If you want this, start the conversation with a clinic."
Emma, 41, Paris — "Age Pushed My Timeline"
Background: Architect, divorced at 39, no children from marriage
The decision: "After my divorce, I knew I wanted children but dating felt exhausting. At 40, my fertility specialist said 'don't wait.' That was my push."
Why Portugal: "France had just legalized IVF for single women, but the system was overwhelmed. Portugal had experience and availability."
The journey: "Given my age, we went straight to egg donation. One transfer, successful. I wish I'd started sooner, but I'm grateful it worked."
Advice: "If you're over 38, don't delay. Every month matters. And egg donation isn't giving up—it's being smart about success rates."
Rachel, 35, Manchester — "I Always Knew"
Background: Teacher, never wanted a traditional relationship structure
The decision: "I never saw myself in a conventional marriage. But I always wanted to be a mother. Solo motherhood wasn't plan B—it was plan A."
Why Portugal: "I researched extensively. Portugal's laws were clear, costs reasonable, and I loved the idea of my child having a connection to Porto."
The journey: "IVF with donor sperm. First cycle worked. I was incredibly lucky. Now pregnant with my second—same donor."
Advice: "Build your support network before you start. Solo doesn't mean alone. My friends and family have been essential."
Common Themes
What these women share:
- Made active decisions rather than waiting passively
- Researched thoroughly before choosing Portugal
- Built strong support networks
- Have no regrets about their choice
Challenges they faced:
- Initial family skepticism (usually resolved after baby arrived)
- Navigating fertility treatment logistics alone
- Questions from others about their choice
- Balancing treatment with work
What helped:
- Online SMBC (Single Mothers by Choice) communities
- Supportive friends who attended appointments
- Clinics that normalized solo motherhood
- Planning finances carefully
The SMBC Community
Single Mothers by Choice is a growing community worldwide. These women find support through:
- Online forums: Dedicated SMBC groups on Facebook, Reddit
- Local meetups: Many cities have SMBC groups
- Shared experiences: Women at all stages helping each other
- Practical advice: From sperm donor selection to parenting tips
Advice for Women Considering Solo Motherhood
From the women interviewed:
Start earlier than you think you need to — Fertility declines faster than expected
Get testing done now — Know your AMH, FSH, antral follicle count
Think about your support network — Who will help during pregnancy? After birth?
Financial planning matters — Budget for treatment AND single parenting
Be open when you're ready — You'll find more support than you expect
Portugal is genuinely welcoming — Clinics treat single women with respect and normalcy
Frequently Asked Questions
How do solo mothers explain conception to their children?
Most SMBC parents are open from early ages using age-appropriate language: "Mommy wanted you so much. A kind man called a donor helped mommy have you." Children raised with honesty from the start typically adjust well.
Is it lonely doing fertility treatment alone?
It can be. Many women bring a friend or family member for key appointments. Online communities provide support between appointments. Some find the independence empowering.
Do people judge single mothers by choice?
Some do. Most don't. The women interviewed found that genuine support far outweighed judgment. "People who matter are supportive. Others' opinions don't matter."
What about future relationships?
Many SMBC women date after having children. Some find partners who embrace their family. The child comes first, and the right partner understands that.
Your Story Starts Here
Every journey is different. These women's stories aren't meant to be templates—they're proof that solo motherhood is possible, fulfilling, and increasingly normal.
Book a free consultation to start writing your own story.
Nestiva supports single women from across Europe in their journey to motherhood in Porto. Your story matters to us.
Written by
Nestiva Team
Helping families navigate their fertility journey in Porto with compassion, expertise, and personalized care.